Commitment

“Will you spend the rest of your life with me, honey?” is a proposition that might send shivers down your spine. If it doesn’t, you’re probably not the least bit commitment phobic. However, commitment phobia is a phenomenon on the rise! Not only do Casanovas and aspiring philanderers dread the very notion of committed relationships, but the eerie sensation has been crawling up the women’s sleeve too. No doubt, the modern era has observed drastic changes in societal values. Are relationships losing their meaning? Do commitment issues ring the death knell for romance and perhaps, even marriage? Fear of committing is made justifiable through several psychological factors, but can be tactfully dealt with. Many prefer to eliminate the word ‘commitment’ from their dictionary since to them; it is a frightening amalgamation of promise and responsibility. Commitment phobic individuals are often bi-polar and hide their feelings behind the veil of security and the possibility of heartbreak. Delve deeper into the causes, signs and remedies of commitment issues in men and women.

Causes

 Bad Childhood Experiences

Everybody’s childhood greatly influences one’s mindset and behavioral pattern. When a child witnesses his parents constantly at each other’s throats, he or she is likely to distrust the concept of commitment. Abusive relationships and instances of violence tend to have a nasty impact on children who inevitably harbor poor opinions of marriage and would rather spare themselves the repercussions of failed commitments.

 The First Cut Is The Deepest

Once bruised by love, healing takes a long time. For many, the first break-up is tormenting and they run away from future prospects of love in order to evade the brutal consequences that could follow. Cheating or bad fallout fuels a sensitive being’s resolution to not fall in the throes of love.  

 Fear Of Losing Freedom

Freedom is the essence of some people’s living. Without it, they’d rather face death. A career minded woman would loath the mere suggestion of giving up her job to perform the domestic chores dictated by a demanding husband. Similarly, a man prefers his own space, his liberty to step in and out of his abode whenever he desires. The possibility of being constantly hounded and hen-pecked by wife is foreboding and provides adequate incentive to stay single.

 Signs That A Man Is Commitment Phobic

• A vast history of short relationships is a strong indication that the man fears commitment and is escaping from the conventional expectation to settle down and raise children. Moreover, a vulnerability to infidelity is generally another sign of commitment phobia.

• Is he unbelievingly charming? Does he sweep almost every attractive woman off her pretty feet? Don’t be deceived by his romantic gestures as the man is probably luring you to the bedroom with his magnetism. Chances are he will run away the next morning and sniff out for a new target.  

• While he savors the sweet adrenaline rush of the chase, he ebbs away from the kill. In other words, he derives immense pleasure in the playground romance and sex but when it comes down the serious relationship, embrace yourself for some clichéd excuses.

• You will soon grow enraged with his incessant unavailability and inaccessibility. You can never contact the person when you want to! Also, the person never justifies his lack of accessibility and only dials your number only when it suits him best.  

• If he has never invited you to his home, you ought to doubt his sincerity in the relationship. His home might be ravishing and yet he may not fancy the idea of you scrutinizing his peculiar living arrangements. He possibly wants to keep a low profile and not juxtapose his internal surroundings with elements from the outside world.

• The word “forever” petrifies men to no end.  

Signs That A Woman Is Commitment Phobic

• A woman behaves erratically when there are a hundred and one thought conflicts in her head. She might back out of a date last minute which could mean that she has been having second thoughts. Hopping from one career stream or course to another is a strong indication that the woman has issues with commitment, whether it is a man or her professional career!      

• Just like with the men, embarking a string of very brief relationships exudes symptoms of commitment phobia.

• Is she unusually elusive and cold? Does she dismiss every single cue to share her feelings? Perhaps, her low threshold for pain and trust deters her from opening up to people. Failed relationships in the past scare her from venturing into newer pastures.

• If she chooses work and friends over relationships every time, it hints towards a thriving fear of commitment.

Now that you have virtually dissected the nub of commitment issues, hope you will be able to sense them and tactfully rectify the damage that ensues.