Commitment

“Will you spend the rest of your life with me, honey?” is a proposition that might send shivers down your spine. If it doesn’t, you’re probably not the least bit commitment phobic. However, commitment phobia is a phenomenon on the rise! Not only do Casanovas and aspiring philanderers dread the very notion of committed relationships, but the eerie sensation has been crawling up the women’s sleeve too. No doubt, the modern era has observed drastic changes in societal values. Are relationships losing their meaning? Do commitment issues ring the death knell for romance and perhaps, even marriage? Fear of committing is made justifiable through several psychological factors, but can be tactfully dealt with. Many prefer to eliminate the word ‘commitment’ from their dictionary since to them; it is a frightening amalgamation of promise and responsibility. Commitment phobic individuals are often bi-polar and hide their feelings behind the veil of security and the possibility of heartbreak. Delve deeper into the causes, signs and remedies of commitment issues in men and women.

Causes

 Bad Childhood Experiences

Everybody’s childhood greatly influences one’s mindset and behavioral pattern. When a child witnesses his parents constantly at each other’s throats, he or she is likely to distrust the concept of commitment. Abusive relationships and instances of violence tend to have a nasty impact on children who inevitably harbor poor opinions of marriage and would rather spare themselves the repercussions of failed commitments.

 The First Cut Is The Deepest

Once bruised by love, healing takes a long time. For many, the first break-up is tormenting and they run away from future prospects of love in order to evade the brutal consequences that could follow. Cheating or bad fallout fuels a sensitive being’s resolution to not fall in the throes of love.  

 Fear Of Losing Freedom

Freedom is the essence of some people’s living. Without it, they’d rather face death. A career minded woman would loath the mere suggestion of giving up her job to perform the domestic chores dictated by a demanding husband. Similarly, a man prefers his own space, his liberty to step in and out of his abode whenever he desires. The possibility of being constantly hounded and hen-pecked by wife is foreboding and provides adequate incentive to stay single.

 Signs That A Man Is Commitment Phobic

• A vast history of short relationships is a strong indication that the man fears commitment and is escaping from the conventional expectation to settle down and raise children. Moreover, a vulnerability to infidelity is generally another sign of commitment phobia.

• Is he unbelievingly charming? Does he sweep almost every attractive woman off her pretty feet? Don’t be deceived by his romantic gestures as the man is probably luring you to the bedroom with his magnetism. Chances are he will run away the next morning and sniff out for a new target.  

• While he savors the sweet adrenaline rush of the chase, he ebbs away from the kill. In other words, he derives immense pleasure in the playground romance and sex but when it comes down the serious relationship, embrace yourself for some clichéd excuses.

• You will soon grow enraged with his incessant unavailability and inaccessibility. You can never contact the person when you want to! Also, the person never justifies his lack of accessibility and only dials your number only when it suits him best.  

• If he has never invited you to his home, you ought to doubt his sincerity in the relationship. His home might be ravishing and yet he may not fancy the idea of you scrutinizing his peculiar living arrangements. He possibly wants to keep a low profile and not juxtapose his internal surroundings with elements from the outside world.

• The word “forever” petrifies men to no end.  

Signs That A Woman Is Commitment Phobic

• A woman behaves erratically when there are a hundred and one thought conflicts in her head. She might back out of a date last minute which could mean that she has been having second thoughts. Hopping from one career stream or course to another is a strong indication that the woman has issues with commitment, whether it is a man or her professional career!      

• Just like with the men, embarking a string of very brief relationships exudes symptoms of commitment phobia.

• Is she unusually elusive and cold? Does she dismiss every single cue to share her feelings? Perhaps, her low threshold for pain and trust deters her from opening up to people. Failed relationships in the past scare her from venturing into newer pastures.

• If she chooses work and friends over relationships every time, it hints towards a thriving fear of commitment.

Now that you have virtually dissected the nub of commitment issues, hope you will be able to sense them and tactfully rectify the damage that ensues.  

TRUE LOVE...........

Hello!!!

When you answer the phone,

You say, Hello....

Do you know what is the real meaning of Hello ???
It is the name of a girl !!!

YES !!!

And do you know who is that girl ??
Margaret Hello ...

She was the girlfriend of Graham Bell who invented telephone....

One can forget the name of Graham Bell

But not his girlfriend,

That is love !!!

Love..Wat it is??

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone,but i can tell u what it is for me.Love is knowing everything about someone,and still wanting to be with them more than any other person.Love is trusting them enough to tell everything about yourself,including the things u might be ashamed of.Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone,but still get weak knees when they come n smile at u..

Incomplete Love......................

Avinash was very happy that he got a job in Techworld International a reputed IT outsourcing company and it was a good job with a decent pay packet and other facilities. He was an eligible bachelor who didn't have any past in terms of relationships and he was desperately waiting for the girl divine. A few days into his new job and he came across the HRM named Anuradha. He knew instantly that it was true love and Anuradha was the one he had waited for all his years.

Being good looking, matured, earning and with a great sense of humour, it was not difficult for him to serenade the object of his affection. Soon the two started dating and an intense romance followed. Another two years went by and the two tied the knot with their parental consent. A long and memorable honeymoon in the Alps was something they both have planned for and they were delighted to see their plans getting fulfilled. In fact life was bliss till the mighty recession hit the world.

Avinash struggled to retain his job and finally lost it whereas Anuradha also relocated to another company which was far from their house. Initially Avinash was quiet confident of lapping up a job at the drop of a hat but soon the realization dawned on him that talent was not the only requisite for getting employment and he started getting impatient. Anuradha was working harder than ever to earn more and keep the flame burning in the kitchen. Somehow, Avinash managed to get a job at a lesser salary in a nearby company and started working really hard to support Anuradha.

They were devoted to each other and had no egos or rules that were imposed on the other partner. Every evening when Anuradha used to come home, Avinash used to serve her coffee and used to massage her feet, sometimes oil her hair and used to try and do anything to make her comfortable and relaxed after a hard day's work. Soon it used to be dinner time and after dinner Avinash used to leave for work as he worked in the night shifts. In the morning Anuradha used to get the breakfast ready for Avinash as he returned from work and she too used to try and do things to make Avinash happy though she had very little time as her office cab used to arrive very early because she had to travel a long distance to work.

Slowly the two started spending lesser and lesser time together. On weekdays, there was hardly any time apart from the few moments that they spent in the evenings and sometimes Avinash even worked on Sunday and other holidays to get in that extra bit of money and that meant no time together. Anuradha had a very good friend at workplace who used to travel together in the office cab too. He was really a fun loving person and Anuradha got along pretty well with him. Since they both worked together and shared the same timings this friendship only got stronger and special by the day. They used to talk for hours and hours after work as Anuradha was more or less alone at home. Sometimes they even went out on trips and shopping sprees together because Avinash had no time to be with her. Even if he was home on weekends, he used to sleep off most of the day and only Sudhir (the friend) used to give company to Anuradha.

Sudhir was good looking, rich and single and he treated Anuradha very specially. Anuradha didn't even realize when Sudhir became an integral part of her routine and now it was impossible for her to even stay without talking to him for a day or meeting him on the weekends. Avinash also realized this but he trusted his wife and knew that she spent time with Sudhir just because she feels lonely at home and Avinash was not able to provide her time for outings. He had complete faith in her and was sure that Anuradha won't cross the limits of friendship. One day Anuradha and Sudhir went for a long drive and Sudhir just refused to take a u turn. After a few hours of drive they reached Nainital and once reaching there, Sudhir declared that he was very tired and sleepy and won't be able to drive back the same day. At home Avinash was getting impatient because it was already near dark and Anuradha hadn't called him.

Anuradha also felt nervous but couldn't get Sudhir to drive back and finally at 8 pm she called Avinash to tell him that she won't be able to return that night as she was stuck in a meeting with a foreign delegation and the meeting was likely to run after dinner too. She told Avinash that she will be home only the next evening as the office had arranged for a guesthouse nearby after the meetings. Avinash took her word and went to sleep though a great deal disappointed as he missed his wife on his rare off night.

In Nainital, Sudhir and Anuradha checked into a hotel and decided to spend the night there and leave for Delhi early next morning. They sat in their room talking and discussing their lives and soon Sudhir managed to pry open the concealed emotions of Anuradha and she let her lonelyness and lack of companionship flow out with her tears. Soon the emotions turned into passion and by the time the passion gave way to realization, Anuradha had crossed over to being infidel. She cried a lot but soon regained her composure and Sudhir told her to keep quiet and to stay balanced in her married life as well as love life.

"He is your husband and would never forgive you. He trusts you and he would never doubt that the business meeting was a night out with your lover. He is your responsibility and I don't stop you but I am your companion, I am the person who gives you happiness and good times so enjoy both the world Anu" Sudhir said as he helped her dress and get ready to leave.

After a few days Anuradha forgot the incident and the guilt feeling. However, Sudhir was now closer than ever and after the initial hesitation, she also started enjoying and juggling the two lives comfortably. Sudhir got more and more passionate about her and now he had started objecting to her relationship with Avinash and putting restrictions on her. He ridiculed her for being foolish and marrying a person who didn't love her. Anuradha felt very uneasy with this changed behaviour from Sudhir as she had given everything to him and she used to be very obedient and understanding to him. She started realizing the kind of love that Avinash provided her without any restrictions and doubts. She soon was overcome with guilt and though Sudhir warned her not to talk about their relationship to Avinash, one Sunday night she spoke out and told Avinash everything about Sudhir and her affair.

"Why could you not tell me immediately Anu?" Avinash asked coolly.

"I was afraid that you won't understand and will leave me." Anuradha cried.

"Is that all you could know about me in all these years of our relationship?" He asked.

"I am sorry, I was enjoying a lot and felt very lonely in your absence. Sudhir's presence just used to give me the happy moments that I wanted to have from you. I didn't realize how I ended up making one mistake after the other." Anuradha cried even more.

"Let's sleep Anuradha as we have a busy tommorrow and you need to leave for work early morning." Avinash said and rolled over to sleep.

Next morning Anuradha woke up at the ring of the alarm and didn't find Avinash at her side. She thought that he must have gone to the kitchen to make breakfast as was his habit on mondays. He always used to say that she should start the week relaxed and she again felt a few tears rolling down at his love for her.

There was no sign of Avinash when she returned from bathroom.

"Avi, where are you?" She entered the kitchen calling out to him and to her surprize she found a small piece of paper pasted to the refrigerator door.

"Goodbye Anuradha. You proved that my love was incompetent and not sufficient to keep you happy. God bless you and Sudhir. You will never hear from me again. Only yours, Avinash."

Finding True LOVE..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 person in your life how many have u found?

1st-urself, 

2nd-1 u love most, 

3rd-1 who love u most, 

4th-1 you spend the rest of your life with.

firstly u'll meet the 1 u love most, and learn how love feels. 

Because u know how love feels, so u can find the person who loves u most. 

When u've experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, u'll then know what

it is u need most. Then u will find the person who is most suitable for u, to be able to spend the rest of your life with.

Sadly,in real life,these 3 people are usually not the same person. 

The one u love most doesn't love you. The one,who love u most,is never the one u love most. And the one u spend your life with,is never the one u love most or the one who love u most.

He/she is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time.

Which person are u in other people's life? 

No person will purposely have a change of heart. 

At the point in time when he loves u, he/she really loves u. 

But when he/she doesn't love u anymore, he/she really doesn't love u anymore. 

When he/she loves u, he/she can't pretend that he/she doesn't. 

same goes, when he/she loves u no more, there's no way he/she can pretend he/she loves u. When a person doesn't love u and wants to leave u. u must ask yourself if u still love 

him/her, If u also don't love him/her anymore, do not keep him/her just to save your pride. If you still love him/her, you should wish him/her happiness, and hope that he/she will be with the one he/she loves most, not stop him/her from it. If you stop him/her from finding true happiness with the one he/she loves, it shows u already don't love him/her, And if you don't love him/her, what rights do you have to blame him/her for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive, if you like the moon, you can't just take it down and put it in your basin, But the moonlight still shines upon you. In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person. Let him/her become a permanent memory in you life. If you really love a person, you must love him/her for what he/she is. Love him/her for his/her good points, and the bad, You can't wish for him/her to become like what you like him/her to be just because you love him/her. If he/she can't change to become what you like him/her to be, you don't love him/her anymore. When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him/her, You only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with you.

Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criteria. In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end. Being away from each other is a type of test, If the relationship isn't strong, then you can only admit defeat. Real love will never become hate.

When two people are in love, They love to ask each other to swear, to make promises. Why do they ask each other to swear and promise? Because they don't trust each other, 

they don't trust their lover. These swear and promises are useless; Till the sky falls, till the ocean dry, my love for u will never change! We all know that the sky will never fall; the ocean will never dry, Even if it does happen, are we still alive by then? Be careful when making promises; don't make promises that you cannot keep. Swear by things that can never happen, because it can never happen, so no harm just saying it casually. Rmember? Swearing by things that can never happen are the most touching!!? 

In a relationship, what you say is one thing, but what you do is another; 

The 1 saying, doesn't believe; the 1 listening, also doesn't believe.